Has been switching channels for the past ten minutes or so, yet nothing caught my attention. Felt I have wasted ten minutes browsing through which I could use it for a power nap instead. Finally managed to pull out some time from a busy day to have some “T-ME” time but it seems pretty pointless now. After another minute or so, I settled for the 6:30 pm Evening News. I have always enjoyed humming the opening song of the Evening News. As I eased in with the show, I realized I wasn’t really focusing on the content. Slowly my eyes stared on the screen and every surrounding sound seems like white noise. As the seconds past, my mind started drifting away too.
I recalled when I was eight, I love the 6:30 pm Evening News. Not that I really do understand what’s going on with the world neither am I keen on any political stuff but it’s the only time I get to have some quality time with my granny (mama). I get to lay on her lap and enjoying every moment spent together. Back then, the internet was rather new at that point in time, thus, she was always eager to watch the news, always wanted to be in the loop and constantly updating herself with the latest News. I always remembered her saying, “it is extremely important for a woman to have endless knowledge, you don’t have to be an expert but at least read up on it, be in the loop.”
Every evening, minutes before the news, she would hurriedly wash the dishes she prepared for dinner. As the opening song of the Evening News is being played, she would walk out of the kitchen with a box of loose tobacco and a small roll of pink and white papers. she would then sit on the floor in front of the television. To make herself comfortable, she would bend one knee towards her making a mini 2D triangle against the floor. as for the other leg, she would raise it, bend and make a 3D triangle adjacent to the ground while resting her elbow on her bended knee. She would place the tobacco in front of her as he watches the News, she would start rolling them with pink and white paper. making many rolled up cigarettes that would last for the next two days. I would then quicken my steps to my bed and grab my smelly bolster and hurried towards her. Looking like a lost and needy child, patting her lap for attention. like most of the time, I would pretend to lay on the floor next to her and try to scoop closer to her and eventually being on her lap. I would describe laying on her lap was the best memories created and it is still instilled in me.
Thinking about having the best of both worlds; comforted by my smelly bolster and felt extremely safe in my mama’s presence. I often lay facing her, noticing her breathing. Feeling the warmth of her body, seeing her small tummy tucking in and out. Smelling her body scent that is mostly a mixture of food stenches, perspiration and a strong stench of cigarette smell. Browsing through the fabric of her shirt, counting the numbers of buttons, feeling the texture of her pants. Often amazed by her seamstress skills with the shirts she made. Sometimes her tummy would growl loud but that was not an indicator for dinner until the News is over. As I slowly looked up to her face, apart from the wrinkles and fine lines on her tanned skin, I see a strong, brave, warm and remarkable woman. A woman with a few words yet brave through all the hardship and provided for her children and grandchildren. Someone who constantly learning and moving forward. Always my role model, My hero.
In the midst of the News, I would often fell asleep while watching her. Other times, I would turn around and watched the news with her. Occasionally asking her questions. Thirty minutes passed, the News was over. She would then nudged me to get up just so she could her on with her daily routine.
Although it was just for a short thirty minutes without much interaction, it was the best quality time I had with someone so dear to me. Her presence meant so much to me, words can’t really be used as a medium to express or describe it. The silly butterflies in my tummy daily when 6:30 pm approaches, yearning to be loved and cared for by someone so special. Till today, I have not gotten used to not having her presence around me but what remains were her teachings, be a strong woman, be willing to learn, never stop learning and be humble always.
As always, my mama is a remarkable woman, a combination of warmth and kindness, laughter and love.
Thank you, mama, for being my comforter, role model, my hero. you’re truly missed.
